Mallard

Keep your Nietzsche stuff your
Socrates between your cheeks
I’ve had enough of philosophical
Debates and niceties
I’ve been coming here for weeks now
For what feels like centuries
Trying to get between your legs
Or get my tongue between your teeth

I’ve used up all my witticisms
All the opinions I prepared
And all the quips and great quotations
That I leaned to say are said
Another night like this you’ll realise
I’m as stupid as a mule
But even then I’ll keep on coming
Because I’m just as stubborn too

And I’m running out of patience
And I am running out of tact
And even though I love to sit around
And chew your puppy fat
I’m running low on conversation
Running out of things to say
We’ve discussed every book I’ve read
(that hardly took up half a day)

“So how about we scrap that coffee
And we head into the sack”
I whisper to her sweetly
And she answers with a slap
It’s like water off a mallard
I smile and she smiles back
Just to let me know there’s hope still
That it’s all part of the act